Discipling your children

 This week I read D&C 121: 41-46. I paid special attention to the footnotes that are associated with these scriptures. I have come away with the following; when you show charity towards your children and use gentle but firm reproval you are more likely to reach your children and teach them about what is right and correct instead of cutting them down and making them feel belittled and unimportant. You need to be sincere in your correction of something done wrong. One of the most important things that you can do when teaching your children is to listen to the Holy Ghost. It might be that you are needing guidance on how to discipline and what you should be saying to them to make them understand how upset you are and why, and what you are expecting of them in the future. You might also seek out the Holy Ghost’s wisdom on what would be a fitting punishment for them so that they do understand the severity or non-severity of what they have done and to feel in their hearts that you, as a parent, do care but that you don’t appreciate the behavior that they are currently exhibiting. The last thing is to have charity. You were once a child yourself and I am sure that you also made mistakes. The children are doing the best that they can with the knowledge that they currently have. It is your job to teach them and guide them. They are looking to you to be the example and how harsh or gentle you are to them will be reflected towards you and to others that they meet in their lives.

Identifying Strengths and Opportunities

 I wrote a paper talking about my personal strengths and opportunities that I found after completing the personal and relationship inventory...

I have several strengths and opportunities after taking the personal and relationship inventory worksheet and honestly answering the questions. The top three strengths that stand out to me the most are my relationship with my husband, my ability to eat healthy, and my evening and morning routines. The top three opportunities that stood out to me were that I could do better at limiting my time on Facebook/perusing the internet, being more intentional about getting in more exercise into my daily routine, and recognizing my own personal strengths.

My relationship with my husband had a rough start at the beginning of our marriage and there have been rough spots in the middle. When we were dating I told my then future husband that I didn’t want any secrets between us and that I would rather know than not know. I have from time to time struggled to tell my husband things but I have been honest and given full disclosure. I do feel like we talk things through and that we stay on the same page and understand where the other stands.

I find eating healthy for myself to be quite easy. I was diagnosed three years ago with diabetes and I was told that if I changed my diet that I would be taken off of any medication and that quite honestly my body would thank me for changing my diet rather than adding in another pill. I changed my diet and I haven’t looked back. I do have cheat meals from time to time but they are usually planned out and I don’t fall off the wagon that I have been on for 3 years. When I do come across a new recipe that sounds delicious, my brain is either already working on how to change it to be compatible with my diet or I am getting online and looking up a recipe where someone else has already done the testing and tasing. Eating healthy for me is very easy.

My morning routine is very nice. I get up at about the same time every day but even when I don’t I already know what will come next. I do change it up a bit for the weekends when my husband is home but I don’t change the time that I get up, just the way that I pursue my morning routine. I usually will listen to a daily podcast and if my husband is home then instead of listening with head phones I will put it on a speaker so that we may both listen and enjoy. I have my morning drink that I make up the evening before and I will usually play some games on my ipad while I listen to the podcast. My evening routine is similar and when I stay up late I do feel it the next day.

One of the key areas that I have a large opportunity to improve is limiting my time on Facebook/perusing the internet. I feel like in the early afternoon and into the evening I spend too much time looking at Facebook as I have been feeling the need to put down the phone and walk away during that time. I could do a fast from Facebook, since the school year is underway and my kids’ school isn’t posting a lot of updates currently. I am going to be better about putting down the phone and walking away.

I know that since Covid-19 has hit that I haven’t been getting in nearly enough exercise. I use to walk a lot more and go and do more things but when everyone said you had to stay home I starting becoming one with my chair. I know that I need to be better about getting in my walking, especially where I have been feeling better due to my medication being corrected.

While in Pathways there were ladies in my gathering class that said that they would post interview questions on their mirror and practice their personal interview questions each day. There was also a part on having a growth mindset that I need to find and work on going over for myself each morning. I feel like this could really help me to get to where I want to go. I feel like practicing the growth mindset would help me with recognizing my strengths more and building upon them.

These are the strengths and opportunities that I found that really stood out to me after completing my worksheet that was given for this assignment. I want to keep having a good relationship with my husband, eating healthy, and sticking to my routines. I would also like take the opportunities that I’ve been shown and do better about putting down my phone in the afternoons, getting more exercise into my life, and recognizing and my strengths and talents that I do have and giving me the personal encouragement to improve upon them.

Parenting according to gender...

I personally believe that children all need to learn the necessities in life such as how to cook, clean, and take care of themselves. I read an article on how some people parent according to gender and how certain things are expected from certain genders.

I was shocked at first while reading this but then I remembered where I had seen something similar to this style of parenting. When I first watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding I was really confused at how Toula couldn't date anyone without the entire families' approval and yet Nick, her younger brother could do whatever he wanted. I believed that this was a very isolated way of parenting and just put into the movie to create more drama, little did I know that there are a lot of people who believe that parenting this way is everything and they know no different.

Parenting children differently according to their genders is a dangerous thing because it can lead to feeling superior to others such as if you raise a boy and tell him that he can do whatever he wants before he's married and that a woman will always be there to take care of him could lead him to feeling like he is better than all women and that they are alive merely to serve him. Parenting a girl so that she is told that she is to keep house, have babies, and dote on her husband would lead to her being oppressed. She wouldn't ever consider going to college and she might not even feel like it would be even worthwhile for her to finish high school in general, what would be the point if you already know how to clean a house and cook meals right?

The expectations that we have from our Heavenly Father are that we are to obey the two great commandments and that that entails. If we are to love thy neighbor as thyself it makes it hard to do if your neighbor happens to be a girl and you a boy and you have been raised to think that girls are inferior and just there to provide for you. If you do love your neighbor as yourself even when they are of the opposite gender you might make a new friend but more importantly you could improve their image of themselves.

There are differences in the expectations for genders and it is laid out in The Family: A Proclamation. "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

The part where they are the same is also laid out in The Family: A Proclamation. "Fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." There isn't a part there that says the father, or man, gets to rule over and put down the mother, or lady. It admonishes later that if such a thing as abuse occurs that those who fail in their responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God.

More lessons from week 1

 I took a survey of how I felt I did at self care and where I could improve and what are my strong points.

I have found that in the afternoons at least I need a fast from Facebook and other social media things as it has just been driving me crazy. I need to remind myself that I've got this. I can do my school work and pass my classes. I can get my bachelor's degree.

One of the analogies that I was reading about in class is that we are juggling balls, some of those balls are glass and others are plastic. These aren't big balls like school or children but they are small and made up of the many little things that make up your life in those areas.

A glass ball might be an assignment that is due but a plastic ball would be creating a web site because your teacher said you could and should though it isn't part of your class curriculum. A glass ball for your kids might be spending quality time with them without distractions and being fully present; and a plastic one, to a point, would be getting school work done for the day.

I am a bit lax to a point on school work getting done. We generally have Fridays off from most school work and I view this day as a catch-up day and we would finish our lessons or whatever we were behind or missing then. There might be a subject that I need to spend more time on and during the week with all the craziness going on there just might not be time to get to that in depth lesson and truly covering it the way that it should be covered.

The personal and relationship inventory quiz

Lessons in week 1

 I was given new insights on parenting this last week. It was a crazy but totally relatable thought. I learned about the parenting pyramid.

I learned about how you are usually and hopefully working in the middle of the pyramid teaching your kids, loving them and having a good relationship with them, and loving your spouse and having a good relationship with them as well.

The base of this pyramid is self care. I feel like this is something that is frequently over looked especially by moms. We need to make breakfast, get the kids ready for school, in my case teach school, getting lunch, making dinner, cleaning the house, all the little things that when not done can make your life harder.

I do also believe that dads need to practice self care as well but I don't have as much experience with that aspect of it. This is an ongoing thing with all parents the balance of self care with all the other aspects of life.

Why I started this blog.

 I started this blog mostly because I need it for my parenting skills class. I have signed up for and been taking this class for the fall of 2020.

I have learned a lot of information and I would like to pass some of my knowledge on to others.