Using the Gospel to help in Parenting

In one of my semesters of doing Pathways I was in a religion class that studied “The Family: A Proclamation”. I know that there was a lot of tasty tidbits in there about parenting and I did learn a lot about family structure. I had heard a few talks over the years directed towards parents and children. I just never had put it all together that you could come up with your entire parenting philosophy from the scriptures but it does make sense given how many talks there are. I also didn’t know that there was a book about parenting made up of prophets quotes and the lessons that they taught. I found it amazing that the more I read the more it obvious is became that this is truly divine guidance given from Heavenly Father on how to raise His little ones. There are many different prophets that have spoken about this over the years but they all have the same theme and overarching message.

 

 

I like what President Hinckley said about his father, “He only laid his hands on me to bless me.” That really says something about a better way to raise your children. I’ve heard so much that kids today need a good spanking in their lives and I have to deeply disagree. I am of the firm belief that what everyone kids and adults need right now is some respect. Respect for themselves and respect for others, all others. I don’t think that a spanking would solve much; it might make them pause but I don’t think that it would teach the lesson that so many need to learn.

 

Brigham Young says that we should get to know our children and their needs and wants (Deseret Book Co, 1941) (Hinkley, 1994). I like the idea of having a relationship with my children and that I know them. I like the feeling of knowing what they like, want, and need. I feel it makes our relationship deeper and better because when I do correct them; they know that I’m not just saying the words but that I mean them and I want them to understand.

 

I asked my son what he wanted to do as an extra-curricular activity because I had found the time that he could add one in. I was happy that he honestly told me what he wanted and he didn’t feel embarrassed or feel the need to hide what he truly wanted to be his extra-curricular activity. He wanted to work on his ball room dancing. I was pleased and started looking for ways to add it into his life. I did find a lower level of dancing and I signed him up for a month of lessons and it was not what either of us were expecting. I apologized to him after the first lesson and I asked him if he wanted to continue and that I would keep looking for a better dance class and to please understand that it might be the next school year before we are able to add it in due to finances. He understood that I was still trying to find him a dance class that was on his level and he finished out the month of dancing and he did do a performance in the summer. I did find the better dance class and he is now currently going to it. His school pays for the classes which is really helpful!

 

I have done several papers where you read a quote from the prophets or some scripture and then write about how it relates to parenting. I read in D&C 121: 41-46 about how you can “reprove sometimes with sharpness when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, 2013). I enjoyed this as it says sharpness not physical. Going back to giving the USA a spanking it might make everyone pause but I don’t think that that is the sharpness that is being spoken of here. When I heard with sharpness, I know that rudeness isn’t what is intended or belittling talk either. The sharpness I feel is more getting you to stop what you are currently doing without degrading you as a person. I like also that it is with the guidance of the Holy Ghost. There have been things in my life where I have asked for help and received it from the Holy Ghost.

 

I know that as a parent I will be looking to the gospel library, not just the scriptures but conference talks and other teachings of the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

 

References

Deseret Book Co. (1941). Discourses of Brigham Young. In D. B. Co. Deseret Book Co.

Hinkley, G. B. (1994, November). Save The Children. Ensign.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (2013). Docterine and Covenants. Salt Lake City: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.